Community

Everyday I feel the ground swaying and quaking beneath me. Living in a town (different from the small city in my previous post from earlier this year) that has been struck by the economic downfall brings to light all the cracks in our system and it is apparent everywhere I look. Today I paid a visit to the local food bank. On a Wednesday morning the social scene at the food bank is better than that of Friday night at the hippest bar. While sitting and waiting for my number to be called I catch up with half of the former employees of a foreclosed restaurant that I worked at briefly last summer. We all talk about needing to find jobs as if it is a far off and distant dream and the lack of reality in it ends up grinds us down slowly. Someone says that they have an interview at two o'clock and we all wish him luck. This feels like community. I get my cans of vegetables, on-the-edge fruit and stale bread. I listen to someone's half-desperate plea for a ride home with her boxes of food, because her "friend" never showed to pick her up. We load up our food and I drop her off.

This is how I spend the beginning of my day. When I get home I start to think about the state of things and I even talk to my next-door-neighbor about the novel idea of never paying rent again. I say, "I always wonder what would happen if a whole city or town or neighborhood got together and decided not to pay rent anymore.." They respond, "Well, then the landlord would probably go into foreclosure and they'd come and kick us out".

I think, at least then the landlord wouldn't have to pay the mortgage anymore. And then I wonder, who is "they"?

And are there enough of them to take us all?

Maybe. But I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist.

I'm learning new things now and slowly tailoring it to fit my life and what I think I might need. It has been hard to keep up with the grandiose ideas of luxuries I'd like to have in a post-collapse scenario since I've given up trying to figure out exactly when it will happen and what it will be like. However, I still can't shake the idea that it might happen tomorrow or the next day. And sometimes I get to thinking that it might not even happen in my lifetime and that seems scarier to me.

For instance, I've been trying to integrate "family cloth" or cloth toilet paper into my every day life. It has been a hard sell for my husband. I have taken up sewing by hand and learning about raising chickens so that as soon as I have enough money to by the supplies I need, I can have my own supply of fresh eggs. I have also taken up archery.

But the ideas that I used to have about going to medical school or starting a business are all gone. It feels okay to let go of ideas like that and I don't think it involves failure of any kind. We have to be realistic about our world today.

What we need is community.

We desperately need each other to quiet the cries of our broken spirits and witness the outrage of our children as they inherit this corrupt system. We need friends to cook with and friends to help build houses for. We need to lend each other books and tools and knowledge.

Because without this we are lost in a world that no longer sees us as human.

Only two more years to 2012.

So I've landed myself back in civilization after a valiant attempt at escape. I spent most of this year living in a tent, shed or cabin off the grid. I had no electricity or water in most situations and learned to make the best of candles and carboys. The occasional coin-operated shower became a welcomed luxury and I learned the truth about the myth that washing your hair too much causes your hair to be greasy - it isn't true. I rarely washed my hair and it was really, very greasy.

I also learned that going to the ocean makes me feel grounded and alive.

And that living in the middle of nowhere gives you no choice but to become friends with nature, because without acknowledging its presence, you will be very lonely.

Where there is no T.V., there are friends, board games and books.

I was beginning to feel human in a true sense.

Now that I'm living in a small city I am beginning to think about how I can make plans to get back to nowhere again. I'm thinking about buying land and how much that might cost me (not just money, but time and dedication to getting that money). Will our systems be in place long enough for me to buy and own land outright? I ask myself questions like this everyday.

I already decided that it would be best for me to pursue work in a trade or straight forward profession. I recently had a calling to midwifery and so I've spent a lot of time working in that direction. However, I've had some difficulties and I wouldn't exactly say that midwives are "flaky" as much as they are "busy". So I've decided that I will continue to pursue an education in midwifery at the same time that I pursue an education in medicine.

If I were to become a doctor, this would involve six more years of school.

That is a long time to bet on things in our world staying the same and sane.

But I've been asking another question a lot lately:

What else am I going to do?

So as I take on this monstrous goal and ease into "city" life, I am looking for other ways to connect with nature. This is where I come up with my new years resolutions:

- Quit sugar. It isn't as easy as it sounds, but I've come to realize that I, like many people, have a full blown white sugar addiction and that I should cut that shit out.

- Exercise. I want to pick a routine. Aikido, yoga, riding a bike, jogging, flamenco, belly dancing, kegels... I have yet to find out what works for me.

- Stop Stressing Out. It's true. Stress will probably kill me one day.

- Write More. Here, there, anywhere.

The Story (Part One)

Once upon a time there was this girl who was a sort of social outcast. She was not wealthy by any means, but was not completely destitute either. She believed she saw things for what they were and to be quite frank, she did not like what she saw at all. Everyone around her was in complete denial that anything was ever wrong in the world, but the girl knew that everything had gone horribly wrong.

One day it dawned on her that she needed to tell people what she knew. She needed to let them know the truth.

"Our fish and our food are filled with dangerous poison!" she said to a passerby one day as she was on her way to the local printing press to have her truths told.

"Nonsense," said the passerby, "I eat fish everyday and I never get sick."

"But over time..." she yelled as they walked past, "over time the poisons build up and they come out as cancer or disease!" They kept walking and would hear no more from the girl.

When she arrived at the printing press she was greeted by a room of busy looking men arranging letters to be stamped on parchment.

"Do you have the front page story for the latest press?" said one printer to another.

"Indeed, the story about the wealthy heiress, P. Hilton, and her diamond-studded dog?" he replied.

"No, no, no. The one about Obama the King and how he is saving all of the poor children in the world by giving them presents. Do you have that one?" He yelled over the bustling of the other men in the room.

"Presents?" the girl chimed in. "He is giving presents to the children of the world? Is this a joke?"

"No, my girl, it is only the latest and the greatest of the world's news!" The printer said as he waved his fist triumphantly in the air around his head. "Who are you anyway?" He narrowed his eyes at her through his tiny spectacles.

"I'm nobody really, but I would like to have a story printed," she said as she pushed a stack of papers toward him.

"You wrote this?" his eyes widened at her. "Well let me have a look." He began to pace back and forth before the girl while reading aloud in a quiet mumble. "...Overpopulation ...famine ...slavery ...genetically modified food ...peak oil ... resource wars ...fascism? What is this crap?!" he exclaimed as he threw the papers to the floor. "Do you expect me and my fellow countrymen to believe these hysterical stories? You must be joking. There is no fascism, girl! Only presents for the poor children and diamond studded dogs! Don't you want a diamond studded dog one day? That is what you should want! Don't ruin your poor little brain with these fictional ideas."

The other men in the room began laughing. "They would never let us print stories like that anyway. Could you imagine the reaction? People would stop living!" commented a younger man in the corner who was hard at work arranging letters.

"Get out, girl," said the printer as he kicked at her papers. "Get out, go home and make yourself a cake."

The girl was so appalled that she couldn't say anything. She quickly turned around and left. When she was outside she watched as hundreds of people walked past her in the dirty streets carrying their goods. She watched as they went on with their lives not knowing or caring about the world crumbling beneath them. She began to feel hot and irritated with the sun beating down on her. She felt her blood boiling.

"You'll all be sorry!" she screamed. "You'll all suffer and wish you would have listened when all the fish are dead, the forests are gone and you all die from a sickness carried on from our pigs. You'll see!!!" But only a few of the people passing by looked up and no one reacted at all.

"Fuck it," said the girl. "I'm leaving."

She decided that society could fend for itself while she would go off and make it on her own. She desired to find a place where she could grow her own food and make her own clothes. A place where she could bond with the land and the animals around her and leave all the silly expectations of society behind.

To be continued...

Much to learn about plants.

I'm not sure what I was thinking when I decided to start a butt-load of seeds in doors without knowing exactly where the grown up plants would end up. I was so excited every time I went to the store to look over the seed packets and dream about all the things I'd love to grow. One thing that I do have a teensy bit of experience growing are tomatoes, but I've never started them from seed. I chose five different varieties of tomatoes and started all of the seeds. Now I have... oh, I'd say... 200 tiny tomato plants bursting forth. I've transplanted about half, but when I think about all the work I have to do it makes my head spin.

Homesteading is not a part-time job. I don't know how people manage to keep even backyard gardens and have day jobs. Keeping the slugs, the aphids, the rabbits, the elk, the pack rats and the fungus out. Direct seeds, transplanting, grow lights, low lights, sun, shade, fertilizer, organic soil, compost, kelp powder, cross-pollination, attracting bees, hummingbirds, bringing water from the creek... blah, blah blah. I can feel my blood pressure rising.

The hard part is that I'll have no idea what I've done wrong until after the growing season is in full heat. Then I'll know if I have food or not. I decided to go with easy things to grow: kale, cabbage, spinach, lettuce, leeks, onions, garlic, potatoes, chives, carrots.... But everything I've planted so far has been annihilated by small rodents.

Ugh. So frustrating. At least I'll have as many tomatoes as I can eat.

I'll try again in a few weeks. And I'll add a few hungry cats to the mix.

Computers don't live in the woods, but I do.

Well, now I feel bad for not writing consistently. I have received a few comments that have urged me to continue even though it is hard to find motivation these days. It has been a little while and there are some important updates that must be noted:

1. I adopted a dog. He is not a Great Pyrenees, but he is fluffy and obedient.

2. I quit all my jobs and now hope that I will never have to work another crap-ass job again.

3. I am a no longer pursuing midwifery as a "career", but rather a life skill.

And last, but certainly not least...

4. I FOUND LAND!!!!!!!!!!! And have begun building a quaint cabin for myself and my husband.


This land is owned by a friend of ours and is a nice follow up to my previous post on the topic of searching for friendly land owners. It is 40 acres of second and third growth forest that is wedged in-between old growth forest and the ocean. Yes, the ocean is just two miles away from my soon-to-be-cabin and old growth cedar is a ten minute walk down the road. Thinking about it makes me feel all snuggly and warm.

And so we are breaking out from civilization and trying to make the transition as smooth as possible. It isn't easy. In fact, it is incredibly trying. Giving up money and convenience and toasters that burn the face of Hello Kitty into the bread... Not a walk in the park.

I'll be writing much more soon. So many topics to cover:

-Escaping from the metropolis
-Updates on the doula studies
-Water sources
-Gardening/Permaculture
-Keeping chickens/goats
-Spinning fiber
-Cars that will drive up trees and to the end of the earth

Etc!

Desperate Times

It has become clear to myself and others who are in my same boat that not a lot can be done to change our immediate lifestyle until we have a place to call our own.

I may have mentioned previously on my blog my frustration with not being able to afford to buy land or pretending to hope that I might ever have the funds to do so. With impending collapse on the horizon, I realize that I will never have the chance to fulfill my hungry American desire to own property. And so, we have turned to a desperate attempt to find people who own land and who might be willing to let a couple of hardworking kids set up a community there. It is like the hippie, back-to-the-land movement of the past, but now the land is five times as expensive and we aren't able to buy our freedom from the "man" with less than $20,000.

My urge to abandon city life is growing stronger and I don't know how much more I can take. Sometimes I feel so angry that I was born into this life without being able to choose whether or not to I want to participate in the destructive system. It seems completely ludicrous. Every time I fork over half of my monthly income to pay for a room in a moldy house without heat, I feel angry. So angry that I want to leave. I want to pack up the necessities in a backpack and live in the woods.

But with a husband, three cats and a biological urge to have children someday, I know the feral life is not for me.

Land is the way to go.

Celebrity Cesareans and the Wave of Zombie Children Who Are Sure to Come

As I start my research into the field of midwifery I am beginning to understand that midwives are both a thing of the past and a thing of future. For many thousands of years midwives were the authority on women's health and childbirth, but just within the last century westernized medicine took over by offering faster and less painful labor processes. On the extreme end, I recently learned that some wealthy women are planning the exact day that they want to give birth months in advance by choosing to have a cesarean section even though no complications have occurred. Cesarean sections may be more "convenient", but the risks outweigh the benefits when a healthy vaginal birth is still an option. Also, some women are paying their doctors to give them tummy tucks while they are out for cesarean. What kind of doctors are these people? Plastic surgeon/OBGYN?

It may be that women are taking a whole new approach to birth and viewing the process as alien and unnatural. Some women seem so unsure of themselves and their bodies that they purposefully avoid understanding how the natural systems works and put themselves at the mercy of over-paid doctors who don't bother to explain anything to them. We have lost touch with our bodies and we now fight the natural mechanisms our bodies have in place to keep us healthy and to warn us when we are not. An excellent film to watch on this matter is The Business of Being Born.

At the same time, however, there is a growing movement toward natural health care and midwifery. More and more women are choosing midwives in an at-home setting or even going so far as to have unattended births with only their partner present. But at-home births are still only 1% of births in the U.S. Which leads me to believe that very, very few of us are going to be ready for post-collapse birthing.

Just as I urged anyone who cares for themselves or a woman, whether partner, daughter, sister or friend, to learn about natural family planning and to educate others about it - I urge anyone who envisions building a community with people of childbearing age to learn about at-home birthing. Some great books are:

-The Birth Partner, by Penny Simkin
-Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn: The Complete Guide, by Penny Simkin
-Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin
-Spiritual Midwifery, by Ina May Gaskin

These books have a large focus on at-home and natural births and are written for the perspective of the pregnant woman or anyone helping during the labor.

It may be just one more thing amongst a long list of ways to prepare for limited resources, but reproductive health is vital to any active community. It must not be overlooked.

On a follow-up note on the women's almanac... I've been considering taking the concept in a new direction and starting a women's health collective with a focus on education. More on this later.